Dear Pesky Kremlings

Meanwhile, back at the Northern Kremisphere, Kibitz returns home with news.

Kibitz: Someone named Donkey Kong Senior wanted me to give you this.
K.Rool: His old notepad...! *takes it from the royal messenger's hands* Let me see. Hm... "Named K.Rool, which is derived from the word 'cruel'"... "Hates handshakes"... "Doesn't like to call us Senior and Junior"... "Insulted my wife"... "Incredibly defensive about his eyes"... "Thought Sparky was Swanky's imaginary friend"... "Thought our names were too normal"... "Wasn't enthusiastic at the enrollment photo"... "Hates bananas"... "Tried to steal Rambi"... "Insulted Expresso's name"... "Couldn't climb a tree to save his life"... "Thought my wife was a pedophile"... "Stole Junior's new Banana Hoard"... "Is a total potty-mouth"... "Tried to cheat"... "Tried to hit on Rosie"... "Got mad at Funky to cool off his post-'breakup' rage"... "Admitted to trying to get the Banana Fairies so our island would fall"... "Yelled indoors"... "Wasn't watching where he was going and ran into Rambi, thereby leading us to call off the banana peel race permanently"... Hey! This last one's written by you! "He wants to start a war with the Kongs"!
Kibitz: *chuckles* We begin tomorrow at 7, at least that's what he said.

DKC+64 - , game by Rare